MANATEES ON RAMPAGE, JONAS BROTHERS GET INVOLVED
IF YOU THOUGHT MANATEES WERE PLACID HERBIVORES WHO ONLY WANT TO BE LOVED, you may rethink your opinion of the marine mammals after reading this exclusive story out of Florida about a population of the...
View ArticleSAVANTS AT DINNER
THE MARILYN MANSON/REBA McENTIRE DUET THAT NEVER HAPPENED http://satirepatch.blogspot.com/2008/06/marilyn-manson-goes-country.html--FOR A FEW SHINING DAYS, it was the talk of the airwaves and many...
View ArticleMARCH FIRST 2009 WILL BE FIRST ANNUAL "FART ON A LAWYER DAY"
TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO SOMEONE DESCRIBED LAWYERS AS "THE ARBITERS OF JUSTICE FOR MEN MORE HONEST THAN THEMSELVES" Unfortunately, not much has changed since. Someone, however, intends to raise a stink...
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KATE BOSWORTH AND AMANDA DETMER WERE LISTENING TO A HIP AND HAPPENIN' BEYONCE/PINK MIX ON THEIR STEREO WHILE WATCHING A WOLVERINE TRAILER AND TALKING ABOUT WEDDING VENUES, WHEN IN POPPED WILL SMITH WHO...
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ANNE DUDEK AND KARI BYRON got into an argument at a Hollywood party after Paul Rudd said that athletes in the NFL playoffs are low IQ thugs who only got college scholarships due to their agreeing to...
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HEATHER LOCKLEAR AND JENNA FISCHER HAD AN ARGUMENT ABOUT TRASHY BEHAVIOR; JENNA SAYS THAT LISTENING TO OVERATED NO TALENTS LIKE JENNIFER LOPEZ, HAVING A CRUSH ON PEYTON MANNING, REFUSING TO QUIT...
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HEATHER GRAHAM, ANNE HATHAWAY AND EMILY MORTIMER GOT INTO A SLAP YO' FACE FIGHT AT A CONFERENCE DISCUSSING WEIGHT LOSS DIETS, AFTER ANNE AND EMILY TOLD HEATHER THAT PINEAPPLE EXPRESS WAS SUCH A STUPID...
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THERE ARE SOME NEW NINTENDO Wii GAMES where Heath Ledger has a mission to return from the netherworld with coupons for an improved Golden Globes where boring people like Jennifer Lopez and Brangelina...
View ArticleNICK SABAN RESIGNS, SAYS COLLEGE ATHLETICS "EVIL"
NO ONE WAS EXPECTING IT --BUT AS OF APRIL 1ST, 2009, THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA IN TUSCALOOSA WON'T HAVE NICK SABAN TO LEAD THEM TO ANY MORE VICTORIES. COACH SABAN: "I'm deeply, deeply ashamed of the...
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*****UPON HEARING THE NEWS THAT WHEN THE TERRORISTS LEAVE GUANTANOMO BAY SHAKIRA WILL BE SENT IN THEIR PLACE DUE TO CHARGES OF CULTURAL GENOCIDE AGAINST HER, SHAKIRA REQUESTED THAT SHE BE FURNISHED A...
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YO-YO-MA TOLD TOLD HIS THERAPIST HE HAD A DREAM ABOUT ANTARCTICA TRAVEL WITH LEVEN RAMBIN DRIVING WITH HIM IN A CARAVAN OF USED CARS AND HAVING AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE MISS AMERICA COMPETITION AMONG...
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;;;;;;111 year old reptile Zsa Zsa Gabor gave birth after a healthy breakfast of chocolates and peanut butter products as part of an effort to Go Green and avoid further layoffs of no talents like...
View ArticleDavid Caruso --Alzheimer's?
I have noticed something strange about David Caruso's character on CSI MIAMI. He talks unusually slow, and has a spaced out look like he has dementia. Actually, Caruso's head looks like a shriveled...
View ArticleOF GULPERS, CONSTIPATION AND MANDY PANTIKIN
When the David Caruso piece originally ran on Sweetpea-Honeybun there was a lot of controversy and name calling , it seems like some people freak out criticizing Caruso because they think so highly of...
View ArticleMARILYN MANSON IS GOING COUNTRY
IT'S OFFICIAL --MARILYN MANSON CONFIRMS HE WILL BE RELEASING COUNTRY ALBUM SOON, SEVERAL PRESS AGENCIES REPORT. Although some think the move is a bit of a stretch, Reba McEntire, who duets with him on...
View ArticleCHINESE ADMIT FEEDING PRISONERS TO TILAPIA
THOSE TASTY AND BUDGET FRIENDLY FROZEN TILAPIA PACKS WE ALL GET AT WALMART are the perfect grocery item, it seems. Fish is good for you, and the price is right. However, most people probably do not...
View ArticleTOP TEN REASONS PEOPLE HATE JULIANNE HOUGH
.....#1 THERE WAS SUCH A HUGE SHORTAGE OF WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE BARBIE DOLLS IN COUNTRY BEFORE JULIANNE STARTED HER "CAREER"#2 THE INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC COMMITTEE HAS NOT ENDORSED GIGGLING AS AN OLYMPIC...
View ArticleLAWYERS BECOMING A NEW SPECIES, UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO ANNOUNCES
If you've ever thought lawyers were different from most people, you were right. According to researchers at the University of Chicago "In another five generations attorneys will not be able to breed...
View ArticleINTERVIEWS WITH THE DAMNED
Nothing is sadder than stories of child stars gone bad. As a veteran writer who's interviewed many former child actors I thought I had seen it all until I hunted up the bunch from Winnie the Pooh --to...
View ArticleEVIL HAMSTER HAIKU
EVIL HAMSTER DANCING ON HIS WHEEL TRYING TO CONTROL MY MIND EVIL HAMSTER WILL DANCE IN THE MICROWAVE
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