MARCH FIRST 2009 WILL BE FIRST ANNUAL "FART ON A LAWYER DAY"
TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO SOMEONE DESCRIBED LAWYERS AS "THE ARBITERS OF JUSTICE FOR MEN MORE HONEST THAN THEMSELVES" Unfortunately, not much has changed since. Someone, however, intends to raise a stink...
View ArticlePOPULAR SEARCHES SENTENCE OF THE DAY
THERE ARE SOME NEW NINTENDO Wii GAMES where Heath Ledger has a mission to return from the netherworld with coupons for an improved Golden Globes where boring people like Jennifer Lopez and Brangelina...
View ArticleNICK SABAN RESIGNS, SAYS COLLEGE ATHLETICS "EVIL"
NO ONE WAS EXPECTING IT --BUT AS OF APRIL 1ST, 2009, THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA IN TUSCALOOSA WON'T HAVE NICK SABAN TO LEAD THEM TO ANY MORE VICTORIES. COACH SABAN: "I'm deeply, deeply ashamed of the...
View ArticleDavid Caruso --Alzheimer's?
I have noticed something strange about David Caruso's character on CSI MIAMI. He talks unusually slow, and has a spaced out look like he has dementia. Actually, Caruso's head looks like a shriveled...
View ArticleOF GULPERS, CONSTIPATION AND MANDY PANTIKIN
When the David Caruso piece originally ran on Sweetpea-Honeybun there was a lot of controversy and name calling , it seems like some people freak out criticizing Caruso because they think so highly of...
View ArticleMARILYN MANSON IS GOING COUNTRY
IT'S OFFICIAL --MARILYN MANSON CONFIRMS HE WILL BE RELEASING COUNTRY ALBUM SOON, SEVERAL PRESS AGENCIES REPORT. Although some think the move is a bit of a stretch, Reba McEntire, who duets with him on...
View ArticleCHINESE ADMIT FEEDING PRISONERS TO TILAPIA
THOSE TASTY AND BUDGET FRIENDLY FROZEN TILAPIA PACKS WE ALL GET AT WALMART are the perfect grocery item, it seems. Fish is good for you, and the price is right. However, most people probably do not...
View ArticleTOP TEN REASONS PEOPLE HATE JULIANNE HOUGH
.....#1 THERE WAS SUCH A HUGE SHORTAGE OF WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE BARBIE DOLLS IN COUNTRY BEFORE JULIANNE STARTED HER "CAREER"#2 THE INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC COMMITTEE HAS NOT ENDORSED GIGGLING AS AN OLYMPIC...
View ArticleLAWYERS BECOMING A NEW SPECIES, UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO ANNOUNCES
If you've ever thought lawyers were different from most people, you were right. According to researchers at the University of Chicago "In another five generations attorneys will not be able to breed...
View ArticleINTERVIEWS WITH THE DAMNED
Nothing is sadder than stories of child stars gone bad. As a veteran writer who's interviewed many former child actors I thought I had seen it all until I hunted up the bunch from Winnie the Pooh --to...
View ArticleEVIL HAMSTER HAIKU
EVIL HAMSTER DANCING ON HIS WHEEL TRYING TO CONTROL MY MIND EVIL HAMSTER WILL DANCE IN THE MICROWAVE
View ArticleWho knew there were farting blogs??
..........I LOOKED THEM UP AND THERE ARE SUCH THINGS!!LOTS OF THEM--TYPE IT IN ON YOUR BROWSER.REALLY!! I'M SERIOUS!!SEE??!!...CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE??HEY, ALSO THE OTHER SP CALLED ME UP TODAY TO TELL ME HE...
View ArticleCHINESE DRY WALL ALERT
MILLIONS OF HOMES INTHE US, CANADA AND EVEN AUSTRALIA CONTAIN TOXIC CHINESE DRYWALL. HOW DO YOU TELL IF YOUR HOME CONTAINS THIS TOXIC TIMEBOMB? THERE'S A SIMPLE TEST THAT REQUIRES NO SPECIAL EQUIPMENT....
View ArticleMARILYN MANSON IS GOING COUNTRY
MANSON GOES COUNTRYIT'S OFFICIAL --MARILYN MANSON CONFIRMS HE WILL BE RELEASING COUNTRY ALBUM SOON, SEVERAL PRESS AGENCIES REPORT. Although some think the move is a bit of a stretch, Reba McEntire, who...
View ArticleRESEARCH DISCOVERS HORSE PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES
RECENTLY PUBLISHED RESEARCH AT THE UNIVERSITY OF PRINZWEILER HAS PROVEN WHAT MANY HAVE SUSPECTED ALL ALONG --HORSE PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES. "We wouldn'tnecessarily use that term" says Dr Von...
View ArticleKenny Chesney Midget Wrestling Video Surfaces
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>&...
View ArticleNBC SHOW "THE WHISPERER WHISPERER" DEBUTS IN DECEMBER
................IT SEEMS AS IF THERE'S A WHISPERER FOR EVERY PROBLEM THESE DAYS, as well as a show for every Whisperer. Well, NBC is set to outdo the other Whisperer Shows with "The Whisperer...
View ArticleCALIFORNIA CRACKER BARREL GOES PUNK
......CRACKER BARREL IS KNOWN FOR ITS HEARTY MEALS, OLD FASHIONED COUNTRY STORE THEME, AND FRIENDLY SERVICE, but apparently that wasn't enough for the franchise to make it in liberal San Francisco. "We...
View ArticleMOVE OVER JOAQUIN, HELLO ARKANSAS!
*************************************************************************************FIRST THERE WAS RIVER. THEN THERE WAS JOAQUIN. NOW, IT'S ARKANSAS PHEONIX, the unknown Pheonix brother, to the...
View ArticleDAVID CARUSO WILL RECEIVE BAILOUT MONEY TO PAY FOR ACTING LESSONS
...DAVID CARUSO, AN INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS SQUINTED AND STAMMERED HIS WAY INTO FAME, will receive no less than 16 million dollars of federal bailout money to underwrite acting lessons. Although the current...
View ArticleMANATEES ON RAMPAGE, JONAS BROTHERS GET INVOLVED
IF YOU THOUGHT MANATEES WERE PLACID HERBIVORES WHO ONLY WANT TO BE LOVED, you may rethink your opinion of the marine mammals after reading this exclusive story out of Florida about a population of the...
View ArticleSAVANTS AT DINNER
THE MARILYN MANSON/REBA McENTIRE DUET THAT NEVER HAPPENED http://satirepatch.blogspot.com/2008/06/marilyn-manson-goes-country.html--FOR A FEW SHINING DAYS, it was the talk of the airwaves and many...
View ArticleCHINESE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER SURPRISE
SEVERAL SOURCES CONFIRM THE CHINESE PRESIDENT will soon announcean unusual gift from the government to displaced workers --a free, sort of, chicken. As our source explained, "We are concerned about...
View ArticleONE SENTENCE SHORT STORY
THIS IS THE SAD STORY of an elevator repair man with attention deficit disorder.
View ArticleFARTING NOW MODERN ART
A NEW MODERN ART SHOW IN NEW YORK CITY has drawn a lot of controversial attention, but not as much as one might expect given the subject: gas, flatulence, cutting the cheese....shall we say more....
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